I’ll be the A-hole of the day by saying that:

– first of all, these elected officials (city and state) who want to close down local / mom & pop businesses during this COVID-19 should also stop getting their paycheck (no matter how big or small their pay is) until they reopen what they deem as “non-essential” businesses. Lead your people by example. That’s how you earn respect (and votes too). The longer you keep the business down, the more the natives are going to get restless. Quit saying it’s all because of social distancing is the reason why the COVID-19 hasn’t spread in our area. I think Walmart cancels that argument out. Plus you have people losing their jobs and business that won’t get the government loans. Seems fair to me that if they don’t get paid, you don’t either. No back-pay either. No balloon payments or gratuities. You’re people don’t get paid, you don’t get paid. For everyone running for office, you want to earn votes, or secure your positioni, take my advice.

– Second, all those Doctors who are too afraid to go face to face with their patients, but send their nurses (or below) to the patents car in the parking lot to take vitals and hold up an iPad to do their visit are NOT worth the money they charge per visit. In fact, your patients should be the ones getting paid if that is how you plan on “treating” your patients. How do you make a proper diagnosis / check up using skype or zoom? If you don’t have enough respect for the patient, then you should lose them to better doctors. Here’s a suggestion, instead of going to the office, maybe ask for the patients skype or Zoom ID and let the patient stay home so they don’t have to get out, especially if they are in pain already. Home health nurses are more that qualified to do the same thing for you. OR if you want to go that extra mile and show respect for the patient, schedule a Nurse-Practitioner to take the appointment. I’ve been helped by some really awesome Nurse-Practitioners in the area. I can recommend several. Yes, I know Doctors are human too, but if the nurses and other health professionals wear masks, so can the doctor. How do I know the doctor I’m talking to on skype or Zoom isn’t sitting on the toilet or staring at porn on the other window? Or being rebellious against social distancing with a Chinese hooker? If you want to your patients to trust you, you need to put forth the effort, even during this time.

– Third, Churches should start back up! Either in their cars listening on the radio (via LPFM or LPAM, I can consult on both), outdoors in the open area like Jesus used to, or in the church building. Hell, I’d sign up for a good old fashioned tent revival because I think we need one right now! I can’t speak for the owners, but a great place to do all three would be at the Tower Drive in theatre! I’m still waiting to see Passion of the Christ on that big screen. Have a sermon, and then a movie. Churches with people showing up, the people get an event that lets them get outside activities, and the theater wins with concessions / door charge ($10 car load? idk). Can’t do it at the drive in, how about Heavener Runestone park? Come on, ya’ll, I can’t be the only person around this area who has these ideas? What? Are you afraid you might offend somebody? What’s it going to take to get ya’ll fired up again? You’re people (God’s people) need you right now. I know there are some churches still doing small things to keep the “blood flowing in the body of Christ”, but if churches are supposed to be the motivators and mentors of their community, why are there other congregations in other states standing up while you sit on your duff? Do you not understand that depression is on the rise, drastically? Confusion and irrational actions is on the rise too. Want to make a difference and help the community? Start with toilet paper! Think I’m kidding? Here’s another idea, for every family that comes to church, hand them an 8-roll package as they are leaving the church at the end of the sermon instead of shaking their hand or patting them on the back. America produces about 90% of the country’s toilet paper. Find a manufacturer or distributor and make a deal with them.

    If any of this bruises an ego, p!$$e$ you off, or fires you up in any positive way, then good! Any more businesses and organizations need ideas or suggestions? I’m willing to work out trade or retain 10% of your monthly profits, whichever is more valuable.